I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
