I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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