There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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