Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
