I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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