she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
