i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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