The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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