the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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