Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just had sex on a roof
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
