I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
