I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
We are all done wearing pants today
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
