dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Randomize
