So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
FUCK WHALES
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