have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
