Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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