I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
