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you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
