I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
