she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
