Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
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