wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
