Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
