someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
