so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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