this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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