She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
