Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Houston, we have a squirter
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
