i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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