i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
