I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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