I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
