I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My penis needs a shock collar
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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