Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
