Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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