now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You dont lie about slip and slides
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
