Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
You smell like stripper and shame
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
