Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I think im going to throw up on grandma
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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