So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
