i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
