why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
