Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
