like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
