U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
