I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
