If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
