Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
