Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
