you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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