Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
