all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
