Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
